Originally posted 24 January 2010 @ 12:34 pm
Whenever I see things that remind me of friends I’ve fallen out-of-touch with, or those who have decided to go about their lives virtually without me, it should make me happy. But it only makes me sad.
It should make me happy, because that means I’ve done my job of being a good friend, and they’ve gone on to bigger and better things, which is good. But it really just reminds me how much I miss having their company. Just because you talk to them every once in a while on Facebook, or see them at someone else’s place, doesn’t mean you’ve reconnected with them.
It just means you’ve ignited an old spark that used to be there, but isn’t anymore. The more you get wrapped up in it, the worse it gets. Sometimes we think it will be oh-so-easy to reconnect with someone, to go back to the way things were before, but even when we do the relationship is never the same. And it never will be. That saddens me. To think that friendships can weaken and die before we even know what is happening.
And we can’t get them back properly, because time marches onward into the future.
Things will never be the same with that person, because you can’t go back in time and fix what went wrong in your friendship. Sometimes, it was your fault, sometimes, it was theirs, but none of that matters. Either way, you can’t replace that person. You can’t replace that empty hole in your heart they once occupied. It’s like pulling out thorns. It hurts so bad at first, and from then on, the pain just dulls. It never disappears, we just learn to ignore it as much as we can. We might eventually forget about it, but in the end, the pain still remains. Friends come and go, nothing stays the same. The seasons change.
Pain is inevitable, life is inevitable. We just have to let what happens, happen.