Old Poetry


Originally posted on 18 August, 2008 @ 02:04 pm.

Poetry Dump #1

You Deal.
You get pushed back.
You deal.
You get it right…
You get pushed back again.
You fight it.
You make mistakes,
You deal.

Karma comes back,
You heal.
It works for a little while.
Then you need something more.

You find alternatives
That aren’t always healthy.

You make mistakes,
You deal.
Karma comes back,
You heal.

Life is shit
From day to day,
But in the end
You won’t have to worry.
Take care of yourself,
Take care of your friends.

You make mistakes,
You deal.
Karma comes back,
You heal.

Time heals all wounds.

What I Hear Through My Headphones…
What I hear through my headphones
Proves much more interesting than my pathetic life
Could ever appear.
My thoughts are dark and problematic;
Wrought with questions of what could have been,
What can possibly be,
And what should never be.
Nothing seems realistic anymore;
Everything is an impossible to interpret dream.
Everything’s colder;
Everything grows increasingly impersonal,
Until I’m not sure if I want to continue on.
Am I just a disaster waiting to happen,
An accident that I cannot control?
And why do I even think in ways like that.
I lie to myself,
And sometimes even others,
Which makes me feel ugly and judgmental.
Cynicality abound,
I’m unsure of the motives of every single person surrounding me,
Known well or otherwise.
Even of those I know and love, I am suspicious and insecure
When I shouldn’t even be.
He’d never do anything to hurt me,
Yet, even after so long,
I still find myself pushing him and everyone else away.
I don’t understand my purpose,
I don’t understand life.

Compulsive Liar
I’m not a compulsive liar.
I just don’t like the concept of telling the truth.
Some people think it’s wrong.
But it’s not.
I didn’t choose to be this way.
It’s a constant fault of mine.
It’s not a state of mind.
It’s not a phase.
It’s not gonna go away alone.
I need help.
Help me lord.
I am a compulsive liar.
At least,
That’s what my therepist says.

Him.
His smile is beautiful;
It can light up the room…
When he lets it.
His face is so sweet.
A quiet sadness,
Sometimes joyful.
His eyes are entrancing.
Deep and brown, I could stare into them for hours.
His expressions are priceless;
As is his sense of humor.
He can always make me smile.
His sarcasm is his best feature,
In my opinion.
His personality is different.
Random.
In plain black and white,
My admiration floats.
Clear as crystal.
He’s always there.
And even if I don’t say so,I really do love him.

Can’t Stand The Wait
We
Are All
Bound To Die
Some Day,
Sooner Or Later,
No Matter
What We Have Done.
Right Or Wrong;
Good Or Bad.
What Will Happen?
How Will It Feel?
Who Will Miss Me?
I Do Not Know.
I Cannot Answer.
I Do Not Want To Know.
I Do Not Want To Answer.
It Will Happen.
Whether You Welcome It
Or Not
Is
Your Choice.
No One Can Make It
For You.
You Have To Face It
With Uncertainty.
Accept That What Happens
Will Happen.
I Have.
Have You?
Can’t Stand The Wait

Ghost (for Nana)
I put my hand on your shoulder,
To assure you that I’m here
But my hand falls right through.
Can you feel me?
Do you know that I exist?
Can you tell that I’m here?
I try so hard to get through to you,
To contact you in some way.
I don’t feel like a spirit
What day is it today?
When did I go away?
I float across the room,
Being pulled by invisible force.
A force that I can’t fight.
I reach out for you;
Scream your name;
But you don’t respond.
I fall into depression
‘Cause I know that I can’t stay.
I’ll float away,
Just a  memory in your mind.
A voice lost on the wind
In the open fields of your soul.

Running On Sky
Running On Sky
Floating On Air
Falling Through Clouds
Eluding the Stares

Sunny Days Pass
No single care
Love’ll Be Free
You’re Always There

Girl
Girl, you’ll never make it.
You’re going to fail.
You’ll never amount to anything.
You’ve been kept in the dark for so long.
And you are now free.
These things you always hear.
What if I were to tell you
Tomorrow you won’t be here?

Would you smile and turn
But ignore my bitter heed
Or fall to the ground
And never feel again?
The way you feel now
Will help you at the end.

Girl, go ahead and try
To live your life pure.
And always remember
Your door will eventually close.
And so you’ll be gone.
Girl, keep on living
Until you can’t anymore.
Until your life is done.

rebellion
my music’s too loud
my room’s a mess
it feels like i’m constantly being oppressed
i have horrible grammar
my hair looks like crap
i refuse to act like a stuffy old sap
in this insane world full of twists and turns
it seems like no one ever learns
music is pretty much how i rebel
if you say anything different
you can go to hell
you’re got your rituals
and i’ve got mine
but please don’t come to me just to whine
i really don’t care
what you have to say
if it were up to me
i wouldn’t give an authority figure the time of day
i could go on forever…

but i’d have to start charging you.

Slip Away
Deep into the sorrow
And pain
Of the life of a boy
Without him
He was driven to the edge
By society and fate
Without warning
His world crashed and burned

No one to tell him
Where to go from there

He turned to pain
To cope
Slip away
To a place only he visits

His grave
Is not fresh
The wounds in his heart
Run deep

Asks if there’s a God
Why hasn’t he answered
His prayer
For death
To be with the one
He loves
Again

Left to his own devices
Left one last resort
A tragic ending
Set to loud, angry music
In a place no one would look
Slashes his wrists
Over his grave
To be together under the grace
Forevermore

Gone
Childhood is gone
And now here we stand
Clueless as to how to adapt
To the world around.

A flood of new emotions
Now crowd upon our minds
Screaming feelings
And loving feelings;
Feelings of anger,
Intense hate.

Children have the world
Before them.
Every choice is made
For them.

Suddenly they are pushed
From the nest
Into something uncertain
With no one to guide them,
To help them along the way.
The paths of right and wrong.

Dreams are destroyed.
Hopes are shattered.
Feelings are revealed.
Lives are broken.

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